What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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