today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
