i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
