No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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