so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize