I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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