Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
