You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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