I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
