i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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