Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
a search helicopter?!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
