You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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