Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
