You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i need an iv and a liver transplant
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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