do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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