Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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