are you still at the devil's house?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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