how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
