Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
