Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
