I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
