I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
