and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
