i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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