He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
