She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
