Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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