I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
They are going to name an STD after you.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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