S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
