come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
