Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
