When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize