I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
