And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think my moral compass just broke
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