Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Barsexuality is the new black.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You may now shotgun with the bride
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
