Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You need Xanax blowdarts
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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