Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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