you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
