do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
