If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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