im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
