All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
