I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
