Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize