Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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