At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize