Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
