So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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