And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
