So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This is my gift to your gina
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
