I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
