I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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