I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
