I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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