from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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