i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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